Active Listening Fundamentals

Active Listening Fundamentals


All I asked was that you listen, not to talk or do – just hear me. Advice is cheap: 25 cents will get you both Dear Abbey and Billy Graham in the same newspaper. And I can do that for myself. I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.


When you accept as a simple fact that I do feel, and what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need your advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we know what’s behind them.